Have you ever tried a house share?
Well I tried this after leaving the rents lodgings. There had been way too many arguments and far too much monitoring of my whereabouts not to mention mother’s relentless OCD which required hours of interrogation ‘have you washed your hands’, ‘you can’t touch that now’ which would inevitably lead to massive epic screaming arguments if I was not in the most cooperative of moods.
I entered shared accomodation 8 months ago. I firstly moved to a B & B as I didn’t know how long I would be staying in this sleepy town which at first seemed like the perfect solution; the room was well furnished and felt more like a bedsit. However, having no kitchen or fridge or sink or kitchen facilities full stop would soon wear thin. Add that to a toxic combination of work men and random hotel guests wondering about at all hours of the night and congregating outside my door, as well as insane traffic on one of the city’s main roads waking me at 5am every morning; well this lasted 2 weeks.
I was then invited to live with my Pastor and his wife when they found out I was staying at a B & B. I suppose it is slightly sympathy inducing once people found out you’re staying in a B & B. I knew living with a church pastor was not a viable solution as they would have guests over, people I knew all the time, not to mention I didn’t know them well enough but eventually my resolve wore down and I agreed. The kindest offer turned into two months of awkwardness. Within 2 weeks of living there I was pretty much informed that I needed to be finding somewhere to live; soon. Hence avoiding them and staying in my room and feeling pretty unwanted. I spent the next 2 months in my room.
So onwards but not upwards to a place I found through the university I worked for; a 3 storey gorgeous apartment with a lady and her 8 year old daughter and the chaos ensued. From moving in day where the landlady rang me to ask me to ask her deadbeat boyfriend to vacate the premises, to being subject to one of landlady’s bipolar mood swings to the 8 year old daughter who was delightful but not as delightful when using my bathroom and forgetting the use of the flush lever, to her informing me she had head lice, which the mother denied. Not to mention, being evicted from said property via text whilst on holiday in New York, to landlady picking a half dead mouse off the street and deciding to keep it as a pet and then leaving dead mouse in kitchen for 5 days in a see through box. Well, as you can imagine; after 3 months it was time to move again.
And now? Well, I am due to finish a 3 month residency at a lovely house in a nice area of the city but with a new set of shared house problems. New landlady moving a male in who appears to have a fondness of bodybuilding hence my room shaking whenever he moves. to his over friendly banter as he slides up to you in the kitchen ‘So, what are you cooking for me then’. Also with the addition of a rotweiler one week after I move into the property which results in 3 months of me having to hear the dog as well as fending him off whenever I become his target and not being able to use the living room which the dog now occupies.
It’s funny what people don’t tell you when you move in. Current landlady told me she thought pets were unhygienic then she gets a rotweiler. Current landlady never told me her boyfriend would be at the property from 9am to 12am midnight most days as well as the fact she would neveer be out and always at the house; same as both males who have resided in the other room who are always occupying the room meaning no ‘alone time’ for me in the house. Plus the fact current landlady never told me the adjoining room’s ensuite has an insane motor shower which would disturb me whenever occupier decides to use it. And that’s just the current place. Each residency should come with a full disclaimer; not just the highlighted delights of the property but the downright harsh realities of living at said place but landlords/lady’s aren’t stupid…who in their right mind would sign up to that sort of contract?
So where am I now? I have come back to the rents for the weekend to get a break from the dog and the bodybuilder housemate and his noisy ensuite happenings. The ironic thing is I am forced back to the very place I tried to escape.
And they wonder why I’m angry…